An abandoned homestead sits alone on a hill.
Free Verse, Poetry

I Don’t Feel Well

~Poetry~

I think that’s ok

To feel shitty sometimes

To feel small and stupid

Insignificant and isolated

To feel like a lost alien seeking home

Adrift amid a bunch of terrifying people

I neither understand nor particularly enjoy

Work sucked today. People sucked today

They take and take until nothing is left
An empty husk where once was life

~~~~~~~

Sigh

~~~~~~~

If I imagine myself in their eyes
Why do they take?
Perhaps they too feel as an empty husk
Used up, thrown away, abandoned
Desperately reacting to any perceived threat
And a traumatized mind see’s threats everywhere
Reacting instinctually to protect their very life
Am I so different?
Have I never lashed out?
Am I not them, and them too me?
Is this not the cycle of insanity?
To give and receive and give pain

Of course I am the problem and the solution

Thank You For Reading

9 thoughts on “I Don’t Feel Well”

  1. I’ll admit I teared up reading this one. It resonated on multiple levels. “Hurt people hurt people,” it’s been said. We are both the problem and the solution. 🤍

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. I am glad it resonated. In my experience “hurt people hurt people” is utterly truthful. Yet it need not be, those hurt can be as alchemists and turn lead into gold.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. If I understand myself as the problem, then I must also recognize only I can be the solution. No one is going to take my responsibility, no one is going to do my hard work, no one is going to live my life. But I find if I make the first few steps, help is always there when I stumble and fall.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. I completely agree that we are all responsible for ourselves. But as for myself, when the cards are down, no one is there if I stumble and fall, so I have learned that I have only myself to rely on. I’ve gotten pretty good at helping myself.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I can only speak to my own experience, and my intention is not to dismiss your experiences or how you feel about them. That is very real and I witness and empathize with your struggle. All I can say is that I have at times been closed to the help that’s been offered to me. Probably more fair to say I was incapable of trusting, or too prideful in my own capabilities, perhaps even too addicted to my own suffering and have declined help in all the infinite forms it may appear.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I don’t suffer, I don’t struggle, I’m not closed, I’m not prideful. All I’m saying is that I don’t feel as if I have anyone I could go to if I needed emotional support. No big deal.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment