~Poetry~

Written for Wordy Weekend Prompt #4 over at Caffeinated Philosophy

When I was young I was hurt by another
Never beaten, but touched unconsented
Told to never tell any other, “our secret”
I felt shame for the first time in my life
So I did as I was told, buried his secret
In my naiveté, assumed it would be hid
That in doing so I too could be unseen
By the now growing shame seeded within
Hoping and praying he would one day stop
That these feelings would eventually end
But nay that seed did grow; a mighty poison
Its roots sunk deeper and deeper in my core
Branches reached higher and higher in my being
Each encounter was yet further fertilization
Over a decade lost, harboring this growth
Finally, I offered a threat to expose his secret
Those wretched encounters brought to an end
I thought I might finally be free, but twas naught
For that seed long ago sewn had now roots deep
Branches that twisted up to the height of my person
In a sickened sense, that shame supported the idea
That I then thought that I was; hurt, broken, and alone
Everything I grew up alongside, mistaken as the self
A sick identity formed, anger, resentment, hatred
All flowed into my body, my mind, tinting my soul
That now great tree seeded so many years past
Dropped new seed, and grew more and more pain
Depression grew, anxiety flourished, and sickness too
Another decade lost harboring ever more growth
The body once strong and virile, now showed poisoning
Weakened and made feeble by the enormous weight
Still growing in the fertile soil of that cursed secret

Now I can see clearly though, it was never ours shared
Only ever his dirty little secret.
I can burn this shame out now, its heat will fuel growth
Here and now It’s my decision what’s sewn in its stead
I choose life

Thank You For Reading